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Sandy’s Testimony of his battle with doubt and unbelief.

 

   My name is Sandy Thomas.  I am a High School teacher in Victoria, Australia.  I also serve voluntarily as the assistant pastor at the local church that I attend.  I am married and I have two sons who are at university.  I became a follower of Jesus in 1977 when I was 13 years old, however doubt and unbelief would constantly oppress me. I read many books on the evidence for creation, the evidence for the Bible being the inspired word of God, the evidence for the life, death and resurrection of Jesus, etc. to help strengthen my faith, however doubts would still come back to haunt me.  All this came to a head in 2000, when something like a veil of doubt and unbelief covered my mind, a huge depression of blackness filled me and my mind was tortured with guilt and condemnation.  I wanted to die.  I was hospitalised for 6 weeks, and had to stop teaching for many months.  I cried out with a thousand prayers through a million tears of incredible pain, but Heaven was silent.  My constant cry was, "I want to believe but I can't!" 

  I wrote to a number of Christian leaders around the world, sharing my story, but it wasn't until I read Graham's book "Christian Set Yourself Free" that a ray of hope came into my life.  I had to learn that I already had a measure of faith that was given to me as a free gift when I asked Jesus to forgive my sins and invited Him into my life as my Lord and saviour and closest friend.  Romans 12:3 say that God has given to each one of us a measure of faith.  So, I had to stop asking God for faith and stop looking for it, as I already had it; the key was to begin to use it.  I also had to learn not to go by feelings; this was difficult for me, but I came to realise that faith and feelings are two completely different things. 

  Through applying the truths in Graham's book, and through Graham's encouragement, I slowly and gradually came out of doubt and unbelief, guilt and condemnation and depression. This was not easy to do by any means, and it took a long time, but bit by bit I became free.  I can honestly say that the time I spent in spiritual warfare against the forces of darkness that were trying to destroy me, was worth it.  I have come into a freedom and liberty in all areas that I never thought possible.  If you are battling with doubt and unbelief, as hard as it is, realise that you are not alone and realise that you will get free. 

  In Winkey Pratney's book "The Thomas Factor" he tells of how great men and women of God, down through the ages, have had to battle with the incredible darkness of doubt.  This experience is called "The dark night of the soul".  God, though not the cause of these dark times, used these dark times and turned them around for good in their lives. (As He has done in my life, and as He will do in your life).

  Blessings,  Sandy.


  A testimonial from a missionary friend working with women coming out of prostitution in Asia - written his August newsletter.  August 2014

  'Dear friends, The summer has unfolded with some amazing stories: First, Graham Powell, a great friend and Bible teacher came and shared and prayed with our women for a few days. It was an amazing time of the Holy Spirit touching people. Here is a testimony from one of our women:

    "When Graham prayed for me, he seemed to know all of my inner secrets. While he prayed I had my eyes closed. He prayed a long time. I cried a lot. With my eyes closed I saw the shape of a snake, black and smoke-like coming out of me. It came and came and came for such a long time and was very, very long. It continued coming out until we finished praying. After he finished praying for me I felt so light and happy and very surprised at what had just happened. I wanted to tell someone right away what had happened. Graham encouraged me a lot. He told me I could be a really good leader. After we were finished, he hugged me and it felt so good. When he hugged me it felt like God, my heavenly Father was hugging me. In his embrace, I cried and cried. Ever since then, I have had such peace. Graham asked if I wanted to accept Jesus. I said yes. And the translator talked more to me about that. Before he prayed for me, I could never pray. I would just sit with my eyes open while others prayed. But now, I can pray freely. I'm so happy now and so encouraged"'.......